Should've Known Better
by S2 Intelligence
Summary: It's a little upsetting when you realize that the people you'd risk your life for have radically different values than your own, and, maybe - just maybe - you can't expect them to do the same without expecting something in return. Sonic takes another look at three of his friends, and questions the real reason for their words and actions. (drabble-ish, friendship-ish)


_**Heya, long time no see. xD Heh, well, like I said before, my classes have resumed and I've been forcing myself to stay away from this website, since I need to up my game in academics and my studying if I want to survive college life. It's cool. The plus side is that I'm not as...conflicted...about certain things anymore, in real life and in my writing, hence why I've decided to post this.**_

_**Wrote this sometime in summer, and I didn't post it because I wasn't sure it would be well received or worthy of this website. But I reread it and thought, hey, why not? It's more drabble-ish than any of my other fics, but I still like it, honestly. So yeah...**_

_**Anyway, this isn't as dark as my other stories, but it's more of a Sonic's thoughts on a certain thing. Another character study about him, really, and how he treats certain things, at least in his head. Yeah, just read it out, I guess.**_

_**Disclaimer: Yeah, sure - No, not really. Don't own 'em, but I guess I do owe' them...? It's complicated. 'nuff said.**_

**_Well, hope you like it ;) But if not, then oh well..._**

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><p><em>"Heh, not bad there, blue, though I could've done a better job. But, eh, I guess I owe you one…this time."<em>

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><p>It was a strange phrase for him, '<em>I owe you<em>', even though he heard it a good three times a week from anyone and everyone he would lend a helping hand to. Minus the ingratitude shown in his friend's first statement – which he had already half-expected given their friendly rivalry –, his words just didn't sit well with him, and it left a bad taste in his mouth.

That word _'owe'_…it was as if he was talking about money, or some other measurable object, that he had borrowed and was promising to return in full, plus interest, when the time came. And he wasn't the only one who used that phrase, either. Most people did. While Sonic did have the policy of returning objects he loaned from his friends, he was pretty sure that was limited to material wealth, things that could be physically grasped. Not something like, say, helping a friend out.

So why was it that everyone thought he expected something in return whenever he saved their lives?

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><p>"<em>Oh, it's all your fault we lost, Sonic! You better make it up to me by taking me out on a date. You owe me."<em>

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><p>He didn't get it, really. He did things for others because he wanted to, because he felt like it, because he should and it was right. Reaching a hand out to help someone up was an unconscious reflex, instinct, and it was as natural an action as breathing itself, to him.<p>

But it was as if people – his friends included – saw his deeds, and in effect their own, as some kind of service that needed to be repaid as soon as possible. It was as if they kept a tally of all the good things he'd done for them, then subtract all the bad, and every time he was at a negative, he was obligated to reach a positive integer to keep the peace by 'making it up' to them in whatever way they demanded.

Was that how his actions were judged? On some kind of moral balancing scale?

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><p><em>"I helped you saved the planet because that is what <em>_she__ would've wanted, faker, not anyone else. It was her dying wish…I owed her that much."_

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><p>There was that word again, '<em>owe<em>', but it was in this context that bothered him the most. This kind of 'debt' was one that could not be paid, for some reason, so instead a different, completely unrelated act would have to be done in the name of the deceased and his/her will.

Granted, said deed to '_redeem one's self' _could be something good and, in the face of a disaster, could be what may have been best for all, and may even be noble and admirable. But, in his mind, doing something because someone else would've wanted it just felt so…fake. Like a puppet on strings.

He did things because he genuinely wanted to, because he really believed it was right and for the good of all. Therefore, such a philosophy of 'the end justifies the means and reasons' was nothing but a big fat lie, a conspiracy. It was a mask of virtue and nobility atop a selfish face with eyes that were someone else's. It was wrong.

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><p><em>"What? Why are you giving me that look?"<em>

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><p>Then again, maybe it was just him. Maybe he really <em>was<em> too idealistic for his own good, and maybe he held his friends on the same high pedestal of morality he would expect of himself. Maybe his own view of the thing they called 'favors' was highly distorted and there was nothing wrong with 'owing' someone something, anything and everything.

But still…

…Knuckles would cross his arms, giving him a confused and inquisitive look, wondering why he was raising an eyebrow speculatively at the guardian.

…Amy would put her hands on her hips in impatience, awaiting his answer to her demand but internally alarmed when he would give her a dark, critical look while pulling himself away.

…Shadow would glare at him fiercely, trying to match his equally intense but disapproving eyes, and at the same time being cautious of the suddenly clenched fists at his side.

And then he, Sonic, would look away in disappointment and ask in quiet, toneless voice the question he isn't sure he wants answered.

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><p><em>"So if the circumstances were different then, where would you stand today? What would you have done?"<em>

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><p><strong><em>Yeah, yeah, yeah, the phrase "I owe you one" is actually pretty common, I get that. But if you look at the context of it all, it kinda implies something like that. Yeah, probably weird, twisted logic, which I'm known for, by the way, but honestly I can totally see Sonic thinking things like this, if he actually takes the time to think these things through.<em>**

**_I'm pretty sure he does. I know I do, and my personality is actually pretty similar to his, at least now._**

**_But anyway, take it as you see it...er, read it. I personally like stories like this, hence why I made my own. Too bad for me, I won't be writing anytime soon, not until December, and that's looking at it optimistically (and I have a cynical view of the world, to be truthful). So for those people that read a lot of my stuff (and I thank you eternally for that...you know who you are :D), or those who just read this one, thanks! I'd still appreciate reviews, honestly, but like I always say, I ain't forcing it on ya ;)_**

_**Again, thanks! Catch ya later...!**_


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